Insomniac
by thenameismeg
Summary: When Jason comes back to Gotham he needs the help of Barbara Gordon, Batgirl because he believes that the feelings that she once had bottled up from her being stuck in a wheelchair will come in handy for killing the Joker. But will Dick have the same feelings for Barbara after she changes to the bad side?


What if I never wake up from this terrible nightmare tonight? Never talk again; never walk again. The normal person doesn't have to think about that every night they leave the house, or go to bed at night. No, but I do.

Fire burns in my soul, it burns throughout my body, my mind. I'm strong. Stronger than anyone could ever imagine a twenty-two year old, without a care in the world could be, but I was raised to be a fighter.

The nights drew long, never forgetting to leave a piece of myself when I left the horrid dreams. No not dreams-nightmares. Nightmares that filled my head-that sent shivering screaks down my injured spin. Though I was back on my feet, the nightmares would never cease to kill the memories of that night.

_The red smile- The white painted face-The gun shot. _

Remembering was the hard part. Soon after the gun shoots went off I blacked, only to wake up with a cast of sorrowed faces surrounding my bedside.

That day came back to me in a whirlwind of emotions.

In the Gotham General hospital I layer covered with the stinging pain of the words that came out of Bruce's mouth. "Barbara," That was the few of the only times I had ever heard Bruce actually use my real name. Though he called me Babs most of the time but when he called me Barbara, I knew something was wrong. "When the Joker shot you, the bullet penetrated through your spin, and they are doing the can . . . but you might never walk again." Those were the only words he had to say, I knew perfectly while that I had just lost everything.

Well not _everything. _I had only lost the use of my legs and the one thing I loved the most. Being Batgirl. But I did gain the love of one of my best friends, Dick Grayson. I feel into a sorrowing depressing after the gunshots, but only he had found the ambition to pull me out of the darkest place in my life. He gave me a home in some place that had always been full by someone else. A place inside his heart.

After all the things that I had gone through, with learning how to monomer around in a wheelchair to learning how to change my outlook on life, I was back! You could have said that my spin was healing more quickly than the doctors had expected, but I would call it a mirical.

Nevertheless I did like being back in the cape and cowl. It felt so riveting to pulling the synthetic material over my face, letting my light red curls fall down my back. You never know what you miss about those kinds of things until you lose them.

Pushing my sore body from underneath the covers, a small sigh seeped from my lips. Back to the streets I go, back to the blood covered pavement, and the city that I love.

It is hard to say you love a place that has only brought you pain and suffering. But for some reason I always came back. I never came to the realization that I needed the thrill of the fight or just that feeling you get inside your gut that tells you what you are doing is making a change in people's lives, till I was placed in that horrid wheelchair.

I look up at my ceiling, stretching out the soreness in my lower back. The lamp that I had on my side-table was only an arm length away, but I liked the darkness-I was born in it. Shaking my feet outside of the heavy covers I crept my feet out first, walking over to the door.

Tiptoeing out of my bedroom into the small kitchen of my apartment I smile upon finding my old boy wonder pasted out on the kitchen counter.

He was normally came over after our physics class at the local Gotham University, but most of the time he stayed it was an all-night thing. I loved having him here at night; it was something that I had missed for a long time. He didn't care about my disability to walk or that I could be a real jerk sometimes. He just loved me for who I was and for who I will always be.

I flipped on the small kitchen light; it gave off just enough light so that I could see with being able to wake Dick up. But knowing the boy wonder, even my steps into the kitchen woke him from his deep slumber.

"Barb . . . what are you doing?" Dick glared up from his limp arms, eyes barley open.

Ignoring his question for a second, pouring a scoop of coffee grinds into the high-tech coffee maker. That I used it almost every day, with the hope that the caffeine from the coffee would wash away my sleepiness away.

Moving my way over to the counter, I sat down next to him, gently setting one hand on his lower back. The soft cotton on his t-shirt being danced around lightly in circles as moved my hand.

"What do you think? I haven't been able to sleep for the last year," I was always irritable at night and he had known to well of it and my inability to sleep. "Why haven't you come to bed yet?"

The first night that he ended up staying over, I had one of the worst night terrors that I had ever had; even to this day, it was still one of the worst. I scared him half to die though. Not knowing what to do while I shook in terror, he placed his arms around me. Swallowing me in love and warmth, he rocked me like a baby until I stopped and was able to breathe again.

"No need to get upset with me Red. I was just asking," setting his arms on the counter to help boosted himself up as he sat straitening his back. Looking down at the stacks of collage papers in front of him, he made some sort of grunt. "I am suppose to be finishing up my French Lit. paper that is due tomorrow, but I guess that is not going to happen," he sighed giving me a small peck on the lips.

I knew that I was going to have to lie to him if I wanted to leave for the night, but pulling the wool over the eyes of one of Batman's best prodigies was not going to be easy. "Oh . . . that sucks huh; well I am going to go for a run." Stepping up out of my set, I moved swiftly to grab my duffle bag full of my Batgirl costume. Dick didn't know that was what was in the bag, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"At three o'clock in the morning. That seems unethical." He gazed in my direction as I picked up my bag up throwing it over my shoulder. "Man, I wish I was as determined as you are," he teased as he sat up heading to the doorframe of my room, leaning up against it.

I nodded my head. "It is good for the body, and I might as well get some exercise if I am not going to be sleeping."

"Beautiful's got a point," a smile creasing his lips as he moved his way deeper into my bedroom. "Just don't die ok, please."

I nodded. "Sure thing pixie boots." Clenching the bag in my hands, I jogged lightly up to him. I gave him a precious kiss on the cheek before getting out of the apartment.

The wind wimped my red curls harshly into my face. I let out a small moan as I flied from building to building, purposely letting the line lag to give her that falling feeling that she had been craving for so long.

This time of night always brought out the worst in people, well it had seemed like that. Gang leaders had always sent their lackeys out to their dirty work at around four, which meant the police, would most likely be able to find a fresh body in a few hours.

Staring down at one of the city alley from my resting spot onto of the local hospital, I noticed a red hood glaring up at me.

Jason. Great. I never had anything against Jason, he was nice.

"Hey Red what are you doing out here. Has anyone told you this is my part of town?" The hood kept glaring up at me, not taking his eyes off until I jumped down the alley.

"You know I could ask you the same thing, and what is your part of town? Didn't Bruce tell you to scram?" Even under his mask, you could tell that a frown developed on his face.

"Funny. Now why don't you tell me what you are doing around here before you really piss me off," he scowled at me angrily.

There was barley any light down in the alley; even though I had almost perfect eye sight in the dark it was pitch black, with only a small flicker of light coming from a street light off in the distance. I moved my body to the side, trying to feel around me so I could get an indication of what was near me. To my side I brushed against a dumpster. Pulling my hand out in front, I found myself balancing against Jason.

"Get your hand off the jacket," He snared as I pulled my hand away, a bright color of red flushing over my face. "Now what are you doing here?"

"I am here on patrol . . . nothing else," I informed him as I casually headed for the brightness of the shining streetlights. "Please don't come," I could hear the pitter-patter of his feet following slowly behind me.

"Now I wouldn't want you to get lost. That would be a shame," He told me with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "And Dickybird would be pissed if I let that pretty face of yours get hurt." Moving into the light I could finally see the light glare off his red hood.

He cracked the sides of his helmet pulling it off slowly. His white streak of hair bounced out of the helmet first, flowing into his face. A red domino mask underneath it so his burning blue eyes were still not visible to me.

I couldn't remember the last time I had seen him without the helmet. Was it the night he had died? Never the less I had to say he did look good without the helmet.

"Cute," Turning to face the masked man following me I sassed. "Do you need something from me or are you just here to bother me. Because if so you are doing a hell of a job," I told him coyly as I moved one hand down to my utility belt.

"It is not completely like that, but you are close." I raised an eyebrow at him, not sure, if he was being sarcastic or being completely serious. Knowing Jason as well as I did, I guessed he was being sarcastic.

"Does Dicky know you are here, being Batgirl or is he clueless of your Badass-ness?"

"I am pretty sure that is not a word, and it is none of your business if Dick knows or not," I stated, anger blazing in my green eyes.

There was no point for him to know what I was doing at night that Dick didn't know about, or he shouldn't have even cared. He never did before. Jason had never gave a crap about that we did in your free time, he only cared that we stayed out of his way.

"You know it would really suck if Dick found out. He would be just crushed to hear that his girlfriend is out every night lying to him, so that she can go out and protect this hopeless city."

"It is not hopeless Jason! And can't you remember a time when you cared about this city. You know before you became a giant jerk," he shrugging trying to ticked me off the best he could, and he was doing a good job of it.

He laughed at the desperate tone to my voice. "This isn't about me Princess; this is about your lying problem." A lying problem-really.

"I have no lying problem Jason," I shook my head furiously. "And what do you think that you are going to get out of me from Blackmailing me with telling Dick my 'secret'?" I made air quotes with my fingers.

An evil smile formed on his lips as I asked that. He had been waiting to long for me to say that. "I think a deal is in order for us."

"And what do you have in mind?"

"Some help with a crazy psycho that has made both of our lives a living hell, in return I will not tell Dickybird your little secret," Smiling he placed his hand out. "You in Princess?"


End file.
